Still no baby.
So, thinking ahead to the time when just after having given birth I will face the inevitable first few photos of me looking weary (but of course happy) clutching my beautiful (here’s hoping) child to my bosom, I think about how to maximise my chances of looking half-decent in said photos and decide to go for some eyebrow threading.
Off I pop to the Glow Beauty Bar, House of Fraser, Richmond, which promises – no less – “a unique eyebrow experience”. Marvellous, just what I’m after. And bonus, it’s wonderfully quiet on a Tuesday afternoon so faced with no queue I sit myself horizontal in the chair while the therapist gets to work.
A very good job of it she does too. I emerge with beautifully shaped brows, a bit blotchy from browline to hairline, but that’s to be expected, and I’m pleased to report it wasn’t too too painful and gave me another opportunity to practise my deep-breathing in preparation for labour – getting quite good at that now.
But here’s where things start to go awry.
I go to pay. She asks if I have a loyalty card. I explain I need a new one. She suggests maybe instead I’d like to purchase a package of 6 eyebrow shapes for the price of 4. Well, as I’m now a woman on benefits (statutory mat pay thankfully confirmed by Job Centre Plus this week), I recognise the significant financial saving and sign up on the spot.
Until, while I’m paying, the therapist/sales girl pipes up one more time: “you know we also do the same package deal for your upper lip”… “just thought I’d mention it”…
There are no words.