So sweet. So not ready – a guest post by Grenglish

We bought Zachy a potty last week.  It is nothing fancy, just a plain blue plastic bowl intended to sit in the corner of the bathroom until he is ‘ready’.  Most other mums experts predict this readiness to occur around the age of two and a half (maybe a bit later for boys), so he has about 7 more nappy filled months to go.

To help my son to prepare for this deadline loose, non-competitive, completely flexible ballpark date, I purchased the potty to gently introduce the idea to him while patiently waiting for his Eureka moment.

He was quite delighted with it when I brought it home and he immediately plonked himself down side-saddle.

“Are you doing a wee-wee on the potty?” I asked in my best role-play voice

“Wee-Wee” he repeated as he got up to let Bear take a turn.

“Is Bear doing a wee-wee on the potty” I continued…

“Yessss” he said as he carried them over to where he’d parked his fire engine and dumper truck.  He then started to happily fill his new blue bowl with lego bricks and every now and then would look over at me and say “Wee Wee”

So sweet.  So not ready.

The following day, I found him sitting on the potty again.

“Wee-Wee” he said.

Oh, it can’t hurt to try, I thought…

That was my first mistake.

He is so clever and so advanced I thought smugly to myself.

BANG, second mistake.

I carefully stripped him off, unpeeled his nappy and let him roam free.  He enjoyed vroom-vrooming cars all over his bedroom floor naked, he loved jumping on his musical footsteps mat, naked, and he adored putting Bear on the potty and pushing him around going Beep Beep, naked.

Bear seems to get the hang of it

So sweet.  So not ready.

I must take a picture, I thought as I dashed to the next room to grab my camera.

ET VOILA, mistake number three.

At first all I heard was a soft whimpering noise.  I hadn’t even got so far as to reach for the camera yet when I turned back to check the scene was as I had left it 3 seconds ago.

When I walked back into the room, I found Zachy balancing on one leg, propping himself up against the bars of his cot bed, right foot extended out… and covered in poo!  Somehow it had also made its way halfway up his right leg too.

On closer inspection I realised he had done a number two all over the rug and then obviously trodden it in to the shagpile.

“YOU BETTER COME UP HERE” I shouted down to my husband, the Greek God(zilla) as I grabbed the nearest packet of baby wipes and began scooping up the solid bits and transferring them to the potty.

“Yuk” Zachy said as he pointed to his poo covered foot with his one free arm.  We wiped him as clean as we could with the wet wipes but it was still all up his leg and the more he tried to shake it off, the more parts of his body he splashed with poo.

Caught between laughing hysterically and dry retching, there was nothing more we could do other than pop him in the bath, open the window, soak the rug in Vanish and give it a good scrub.

“You made a terrible mistake, love” scolded the Greek God(zilla) when he handed Zachy back to me, fresh out of the bath, all shiny and clean again.

“Yuk” Zachy said again as he inspected his foot once more.

“It’s all gone now” I reassured him and he nodded, quite satisfied that it was.

So sweet.  So not ready.

What potty training mishaps have you encountered?

This post was written by one of my favourite bloggers, Sarah  from Grenglish, for the first BritMums Guest Post Match-Up.  To read more about Sarah’s “big fat Grenglish life”  follow her @smudgerella on Twitter or visit her blog Grenglish

My guest post is published today on Grenglish and is about growing up half English, half Italian.  Go take a look… pretty please with a cherry on top!

13 thoughts on “So sweet. So not ready – a guest post by Grenglish

  1. Very funny and well written! Sounds familiar. Our 2.5 year old boy is also so not ready! Toddler has performed in the play area and stood in it. Baby, however, who we aren’t even trying to potty train seems to poo the minute you get her nappy off. We’ve had several on the move poo incidents, where she crawls away from us and ‘pop’, ‘pop’. The worst though was last week when she pooed in the bath and I only realised when she started chomping on it. Agggh!

    • Oh god, that is totally gross! We’ve had some poo-ing incidents with Richmond Baby, mostly all over the changing mat jobs, which thankfully can just go into the wash easily, and of course once on my lap – urgh. But thankfully nothing too dramatic yet. I fear the worst is yet to come… xx

  2. Pingback: Half ‘n’ half… a Guest Post, by Richmond Mummy « Grenglish

  3. I laughed – I’m sorry! I rather optimistically bought Elfie her first potty last Christmas (aged 6 months). Needless to say I’ve heard so many horror stories about poo and carpets that I’m in no rush to potty train x

  4. I’m suffering the horror of potty training 3 year old twins. Its taken 6 months to crack wees. I reckon they’ll be sitting GCSE’s with a big poo in their pants.

    • hahaha Gill, you do make me laugh. Is one of them finding it easier than the other? I have heard girls pick it up a bit quicker than boys…

  5. This post is hilarious! I am so glad (and so hoping not to jinx it now…) but we haven’t had any poo incidents *yet* . Hope the potty training goes well when you do start in earnest, though. And it’s a brilliant idea to get Zach comfortable with the potty in the meantime, even if he just plays with it.

  6. Pingback: Adventures in potty training (a glimpse) « Grenglish

  7. I can so relate to this! Think it is so normal to have little accidents, even after they are full ‘trained’. I had a poo incident in the bath (a SHARED bath complete with rose oil infused bath bomb) which was not my most glamorous mummy moment!! I recently write a post on this on my awkward situation blog

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