Expecting…

So, yes… I have news – or rather, WE have news… the Richmond family, is soon(ish) to become a family of four… we’re expecting baby number two!

I won’t lie, it did come as a bit of a shock.  It’s not like we weren’t planning to have a second, at some point.  Truth be told, Richmond Daddy was ready for baby number two when Richmond Baby was about 6-months old.  I on the other hand, well, I didn’t feel “in the zone”.  In fact, one year on from Richmond Baby’s arrival and I still felt very much like a new mum (still do in many ways), so the idea of planning baby number two seemed faintly ridiculous to me (still kind of does in many ways!).

Some of you will know that the path to having Allegra wasn’t always the smoothest.  I had a very straight-forward pregnancy with her, but prior to that had lost two babies one after another across a two-year period: one at 19 weeks, after having to opt for a termination when the baby was diagnosed with triploid, and another at 7 weeks through a miscarriage.  It was a tough time.  I thought we’d truly never get there.  And I tried so hard not to feel anything but happiness for those around me who were merrily having babies and saying “I couldn’t believe it, I just fell pregnant straight-away” and the like.  Of course I was happy for them, I just struggled with the fact that it wasn’t me.  Again.

So, I certainly never thought I’d be one of those women who just “fell pregnant”, without even thinking about it, planning for it, having acupuncture in desperation to try and will it to happen.  But, this time around, that’s exactly what happened!

We hadn’t “started trying”, in fact I was continuing to tell anyone who’d listen that I just wasn’t ready yet, wasn’t “in the zone”.  I never thought for a minute it would happen without active planning and trying.  It didn’t really even cross my mind.  And after being pregnant in 2008 (and losing the baby), and 2009 (and losing the baby), and 2010/2011 (and successfully having Allegra!), I was happy to enjoy a year without (a) being pregnant, (b) trying to be pregnant, (c) failing to be pregnant, (d) getting over the fact I was no longer pregnant and having to start all over again.  I was enjoying just not thinking about anything to do with being pregnant!!

Then… about a week after I’d been on a hen do to Barcelona, enjoying drinking copious amounts of Cava over breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Not to mention the odd Jagerbomb, ahem, well it WAS a hen do.  I was brushing my teeth before bed and the thought “hmmm, when was my last period?… have I had one this month?…” popped into my head.  Struggling to pin-point the date, I decided I’d dig out a pregnancy test from the back of my wardrobe (I still had a stash from before) and double-check, just to put my mind at rest.  I was 99.9% convinced that not in a blue moon would it read positive, I didn’t even tell Richmond Daddy that I was about to do the test (I knew he’d tell me not to, unless I thought I actually might be… “waste of money” he’d say – he is an accountant after all…), but do the test I did, and then I carried on getting ready for bed.

A cursory glance at the wee-d upon stick a few minutes later, just before I hopped into bed, and it read: POSITIVE, 3+ Weeks…..?!?!??!???!!!!????!??!  I literally thought I was going to drop down onto the bathroom floor in shock.  I. Could. Not. Believe. It.  And after staring at the stick for what seemed like ages, with my heart pounding and time appearing to stand still, I swore quite a lot and then ran downstairs and thrust the stick towards Richmond Daddy (I had dried it by this point, just to clarify!).  He was shocked, speechless for a moment, then just laughed and whooped, and (from vague memory) sort of punched the air and said “yippee”.

So that was it.  Baby number two, on the way.  It had happened, I had “just fallen” pregnant. And for anyone out there who may be trying to get pregnant who’s reading this, truly I understand how irritating that might sound, but honestly, that’s how it was this time around and nobody could be more shocked about it than me!

While I knew it was something to feel overjoyed about, I can’t deny that it took a bit of getting used to on my part.  I was loving just having the luxury of focusing 100% of my love and energy on Allegra (oh, and Richmond Daddy also of course… sometimes) and couldn’t imagine how I could manage to give as much to another baby, and I was worried (still am a bit) about ending the time where it’s just me and my little girl (oh, and Richmond Daddy of course…), just the two of us (ahem, three of us).  I’d also only been back at work about 5-months and by and large had settled back into the madness of working life and it was going pretty well, good in fact, and I just didn’t feel ready to leave all that behind again so soon.  Oh, and also, I wasn’t over-joyed about having to give up wine again… (happy to forego the Jaegerbombs though…).

So yes, it did take a bit of getting used to, I’ll admit, and I walked around in a state of shock for probably the first 6 weeks:  I was 6 weeks pregnant when I found out, so another 6 weeks of being in denial/shock, took me to 12 weeks and my first scan quite speedily – which was a bonus!

Once we made it to the 12 week scan and we saw bouncing bubba number two right there on the screen, jumping and kicking, and waving, it suddenly felt so much more real and SO EXCITING!  They estimated my due date at 25th January 2013… yes, that means that as I write this, I am in fact 21 weeks now – so already half way through!  Allegra will be a month shy of her second birthday if baby number two comes on time (I suspect another late arrival, Allegra was 2-weeks late and had to be induced, and STILL didn’t want to come out!).  This faintly terrifies me… a toddler AND a baby… eeek!! Somebody tell me that it’ll be okay…. please!!

So, here I am, 21 weeks pregnant, feeling very excited now and very lucky, and fully adjusted to the idea that we’re not far off welcoming a new addition to the family.  I had my anomaly scan on Friday and I’m pleased to report that all appears as it should: so far so good and all looking normal for this stage in the pregnancy (loving the word “normal” right now).

Oh, and of course, one last thing to reveal…. IT’S A GIRL!!!

45 thoughts on “Expecting…

  1. I am soooo thrilled for you and have been manically checking your twitter feed for news all weekend! Elf was 22 months when Hux was born and I was terrified at how hard number 2 was going to make things but it’s been so much easier than I anticipated. We’re still in our pjs at midday sometimes but to be honest that was the case before Hux came along!

    And a girl- woohhoooooh! Xx

    • Thank you! Very reassuring to hear that a baby & a toddler so close in age doesn’t lead to meltdown and madness (am sure wine helps!). It has been comforting following your blog since I found out I was pregnant, to see how well you seem to be juggling everything! And yay, woohoo, a girl!! 🙂 xxx

  2. Another girl! That is gorgeous news, sisters are the best! And don’t you worry about telling people you just ‘fell pregnant’ – you bloody deserve it to happen that way. Great news RM, am chuffed to bits for you all. Many congrats from all of us xx

  3. ah…then I guessed right the other day! I am delighted for you! such a lovely post to read on a Sunday morning! and it is so nice that you are having another girl, they’ll be so close in age that they’ll hopefully be good friends for life. You made my Sunday morning! lots of love Fx

    • Ah how funny, it’s strange but a few people I have told had said they’d had a sixth sense about it… the universe talking to everyone (before me!). Sorry to have made you cry, but thank you – hope to see you soon xx

  4. B!! Fantastic news, had a little tear or two when I read this x It will be fine I promise, hard, frustrating , scary and exhausting BUT you will always get through. You’ll find the time,love and patience ( she says whilst screaming at kids!) I don’t know how or where from, we just have bigger hearts than we realise. Much much love and blessings , The Thrapston Boonies x

  5. Congratulations:) Mine are 2years and one month apart and we love it. Even though it’s girl and boy they’re good together, of course not always. Even though I got MS and at times it was very hard with a baby, a toddler and disabled me it was also easy as they were so close in age:) Again congratulation:)

    http://oddparent.blogspot.dk/

    • Thank you! Oh my goodness I don’t know how you’ve found the strength to deal with all that at once, amazing – I take my hat off to you! Yes, I’m beginning to think the closeness in age is a great thing, even though right now it feels a bit scary! x

  6. Congratulations on here too lovely, I am so thrilled for you, especially after hearing it was a bit of a struggle last time. It will be wonderful to have two little princesses close in age. We will have to meet up soon, would be lovely to meet allegra and chat babies. Xx

    • Thank you sweetie 🙂 That sounds lovely, let’s do that! I would totally love to meet the very gorgeous Mads too, she’s a bit like a little celebrity baby in my eyes, ha ha 🙂 much love xx

  7. Ah, I cried too. How lovely. I read an article that said two girls is the secret to a harmonious family. Huge congratulations and glad she gave you an easy time of it getting pregnant. Won’t be the first shock on your road! I remember doing the exact same thing…maybe I’ll just check. Used a spare stick that had been kept under the cupboard and had got damp. So when it came back positive I had to rush up to the pharmacy at the top to double check! Anyway, lovely news. x

    • Ah, thank you – yes, Dunstable Road seems to be a very fertile place, ha ha!! Oooh, I must find that article and keep reading it, it sounds brilliant! hope you’re keeping well and your little ones aren’t running you ragged! see you soon hopefully xxx

  8. Congratulations. What a wonderful story, and after all the heartache that came before Allegra how wonderful to fall pregnant naturally. My no 2 is due at the end of November so will follow your progress and look forward to comparing notes when the time comes x

    • Thank you and congratulations to you too! Yes, we’ll only be a few months apart then 🙂 Am excited about recording the next 20 weeks of this pregnancy on my blog, I didn’t start blogging last time until a few weeks before Allegra was due, so don’t have any of that stuff captured. Will be great to do it this time around. Good luck! xx

  9. I can’t put into words just how pleased I am for you – absolutely thrilled!! xx
    I read your blog and was almost in tears (happiness) remembering the ‘tough times’ and now your fabulous news. Baby Two will bring you double joy, happiness and love even more than you can imagine. Much love to you. Txx

    • Ah, thank you so much T, lovely comment and lovely to hear from you. You were a great support in those tough times and I’ll never forget that 🙂 Have been so touched by all the lovely wishes and kind words today, makes it even more exciting anticipating the arrival of baby number two. Hope you and your gorgeous little ones are all well, sending lots of love xxx

  10. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! 🙂 We are also expecting #2 (we’re at 11 weeks) and we have a 9 month old!!!! SO I know exactly what it’s like to be overwhelmed with the thoughts of yourself going crazy with 2 babies pulling on your pant leg!!! I would recommend ignoring this comment: “You’re going to have your hands full” – WELL DUH!!! What good will you telling me that do? lol Well if you want to keep up with our bump come see me at http://www.biriminghambell.com I know I’ll be following you to get a heads up on how it really is with 2!

    • Hello! So we’re in pretty much the same boat, although your 2 will be even closer in age 🙂 well congratulations to you! Hope all goes smoothly for you and yes I’ll be sure to follow your journey too. I’ve had lots of people tell me how great it is to have the age gap do close and that they’ll grow up together and be really close – those are the kind of comments that are great to hear at this stage! Anyway, thx for your lovely comment and good luck!! Xxx

  11. You’ve written this post so sensitively, and bless you for that, but I have to reiterate Sarah’s words and say that you certainly deserve to ‘just fall pregnant’ and I really hope that you don’t feel guilty about this. Conception and pregnancy is such a delicate balance, that all we can feel is extremely thankful when the result is a healthy pregnancy and baby at the end of it. Your losses must be very hard for you, and I can see where you are coming from with what you’ve written. Hope you are able to relax a little now you’ve have your second scan.

    I think it’s wonderful to have a same sex close age gap. I was always a bit jealous of my school friends who had sisters a year or so younger or older, they always seemed like friends as well as sisters.

    • Thank you for your lovely comment, I think everything you’ve said is true and no I don’t feel guilty, I feel incredibly lucky, but it has taken a bit of time for me to feel deservingly so and it’s hard to explain why, but anyway suffice as to say that I’m ecstatic things are going smoothly so far and I hope my luck holds out from here forwards 🙂 xxx

  12. Congratulations sweetie, so happy for you! This post brought tears to my eyes. I think whatever the gap, it’s nervewracking. My second will be here any day and I’m super nervous…and madly excited! xxx

  13. Huge congrats to you, lovely age gap Allegra will be old enough to understand and be involved and help you grab nappies and wipes etc but hopefully young enough to not really remember it being any different and jealousy should be kept at an absolute minimum! How sweet, 2 girls – you’re so lucky. I hope you enjoy your pregnancy – 21 weeks already, its going to fly by! I have 16 months between mine and youngest is 9 months already, where did the time go – we are all in one piece still…just about! Look forward to reading more xx

    • Thank you! Yes an hoping to turn Allegra into mummy’s little helper and also am excited about prospect of the 2 little girls growing up together and (hopefully!) becoming the best of friends x

  14. Argh I thought I’d commented on this… Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! I’m so so so happy for you, well done on keeping it a secret for 20 weeks and woohoo for another girl! It’s lovely to know someone else due close to me whose expecting another girl aswell 🙂 Good luck with the next 4 months… I’m sure I’ll be obsessively checking up on your blog! xxx

  15. Bianca how have i missed this very important snippet of information??? i will tell you, because i had the incorrect blog url on my blog roll doh! anyway, i am so pleased for you!!! and another girl too!! awww Allegra will be a lovely big sister and its so lovely. it is hard work with two under two but amazing too x x

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