On the 31st of October, that’s this coming Thursday, our beautiful baby girl Claudia will be exactly 9 months old. She is full of life, full of personality, full of potential, loved beyond belief by us her parents and family, adored by her big sister, she is her own little person, forming likes (maracas, music, cuddles, tickles and raspberry blowing) and dislikes (nappy changing, lying down flat, being strapped into the buggy, having her clothes put on/taken off) and putting a smile on our faces each and every day.
On the 31st October, that’s this coming Thursday, our beautiful baby girl Claudia will be exactly 9 months old. She will be exactly the same age that Matilda Mae was, when she died. Matilda was full of life, full of personality, loved beyond belief by her parents and family, adored by her siblings, she was her own little person, forming likes and dislikes and putting a smile on the faces of her family and all those around her each and every day.
On the 2nd November 2013, Matilda Mae will have been gone for exactly as long as she was here. 9 months. She died two days after Claudia was born, and as I celebrate each month gone by and each milestone reached, Matilda’s parents and family mourn the passing of another month since she was taken from them and can’t help but wonder about the little girl she would have been now.
I can not imagine the indescribable pain of their loss, but the thought of losing Claudia from my arms, from our lives, in the way that they have lost their beautiful Matilda Mae, at 9 months old, it makes my heart heavy with grief. To lose a child at any age, is just the most horrific and devastating thing imaginable, a living nightmare, and one that Matilda Mae’s parents and family are living every day since she inexplicably and tragically passed away.
I was never lucky enough to meet Matilda Mae. I didn’t know her mum Jennie or her dad David, or any of her family. But since that awful night, when I first saw the news that Matilda had died, I felt an indescribable stabbing pain of hurt, of loss, of emotion, and not a day has gone by when I don’t think of that beautiful baby girl now, a baby girl I never even knew, and feel desperately sad for her loss. Matilda Mae’s death has left a huge imprint on my heart, it has made me cherish my own two children all the more, squeeze them all the tighter, and I can honestly say that a day does not go by without me thinking of her, of her mum and dad, of her family.
I met Matilda Mae’s mummy Jennie earlier this year at the annual parent blogger conference BritMums Live. I went over to her to tell her how sorry I was for her loss, but before I’d got the words out, I found myself just standing there, crying, struggling to string a sentence together. I felt so awful, weeping on Jennie’s shoulder, when she was the one who had suffered this overwhelmingly devastating loss, not me. But she just hugged me and she said thank you, and she was incredibly strong and kind. A truly lovely woman. Reading her blog, which I have been following for this past 9 months, I am in awe at how honestly she writes, how beautifully she remembers, and how inspirationally she works to honour Matilda, to be the best mummy to her toddler twins, and to raise funds and awareness for The Lullaby Trust (£23k raised already this past 9 months). Jennie is truly an incredible woman.
On the 2nd November 2013, that’s next Saturday, exactly 9 months since Matilda died, me and my family and many other families too, are joining Matilda’s parents and family and friends at Beale Park near Reading, for the Matilda Mae Welly Walk & Family Fun Day. We all hope to raise lots of money and lots of awareness of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), particularly in older babies, and the event is in support of The Lullaby Trust.
In the midst of her grief, Jennie has worked so very hard to organise this event and to make sure that it is a success. She has worked tirelessly and she has brought together an amazing programme for what is set to be an awesome day, building a legacy for Matilda Mae and honouring her beautiful daughter in this most fantastic way. Now all YOU need to do is support her!
If you’d like to be there, you can buy your ticket (£9.99 per adult and ALL the money goes to The Lullaby Trust, kids under 11 go free) here.
If you can’t be there but would like to make a donation, you can do so here.
If you’d like to know more about what’s planned for the day, then you can read all about it on Jennie’s blog here.
The Matilda Mae Welly Walk & Family Fun Day is going to be amazing. If you can support it in any way, that would be so very appreciated.