It’s almost Summer holiday time again. Almost. So close I can almost smell the suncream, but I’m beginning to wonder if me and Summer holidays are actually compatible bedfellows. After all, there are far too many things about Summer and by default therefore Summer holidays, that I actually find pretty annoying – I must be more or less hell to go away on vacation with… pity my poor husband… – I’m wondering if I shouldn’t just hole-up under my duvet (lightweight-tog for the season natch) and wait for it to just pass on by!
Things that drive me slightly irrationally around the bend about Summer/summer holidays include:
- The hot weather: I know it sounds ridiculous, possibly a bit bonkers, but I don’t do well in really hot weather. Spring sunshine, the sort that requires you to maybe even wear a lightweight cardi, that suits me down to a tee. But sweltering and stifling proper hot, height-of-summer weather, oh god I can’t bear it. Turns me into a right bear with a sore head, I just don’t know where to put myself!
- The flies and bugs and other things that buzz: “let’s eat dinner outdoors” – my OH will say, which of course in theory and in the picture in my mind, sounds and looks lovely. But the reality is spending 10 irritating minutes swatting things that buzz away from your face and your food, while trying to shovel your meal into your mouth before something lands on it and does god-knows what. And let’s face it, those citronella candles don’t do sh*t now do they?!
- The sand that comes with sandy beaches: oh god, is there anything worse than sand? – well obviously there is, but seriously, sand, it’s got to be up there on the short-list of irritating things we must learn to live with down here on earth. I mean sure, it LOOKs pretty, especially when you cast your eyes out across a semi-deserted beachscape, with palm trees swaying in the breeze, as you admire from the distance of a boardwalk. But feck it, I hate sand. It gets EVERYWHERE and try as you might, you can’t brush it off yourself when you need to eat/drink/apply sunscreen and so you end up crunching on grit with your sandwiches or inadvertently exfoliating yourself and ending up a sandy, creamy, grain-crunching mess. And don’t get me started on wet sand… ugh! The number of times I’ve done a vicious circle of loop-the-loops from the sea to the shore to my beach-towel and back again in a desperate bid to wash off and keep off the wet sand from my feet in order to put my shoes back on to leave the beach *shudders*
- The uncomfortable clothes: summer and the summer sun demands that you dress light and sometimes little, in order to keep cool. But why is it that so many summer clothes are just bloody uncomfortable? – flip flops that rub between your toes; shorts with metal buttons at the waistband that heat-up to molten-hot lava proportions in the sun and then brand your stomach when you bend over to brush the sodding sand of your feet when you leave the beach; maxi-dresses that appear to be lightweight cotton in the shop and then when you wear them in 30 degrees of heat actually transform into a chrysalis-style fabric prison that clothes you in heat and trips you up because they’re always just that little bit too long. And don’t even get me started on bikinis…
- Sitting on the grass: “oh what a beautiful sunny day, let’s sit here on the grass and soak it up” – no, let’s not. Sitting on the grass is not comfy and I can’t abide it. Cross-legged, reclining on one arm, lying face down propped up on your elbows, whatever position you try, you can only maintain for approximately 3.5 minutes before something hurts and you have to move again. Not comfy people, not comfy. Coupled with that, you have the constant threat of bugs crawling off the blades and on to your leg – which means you twitch every 30 seconds because you think you feel something tickling – and then there’s the chance you might lie-down on or face-near a discarded cigarette butt, used plaster, or worse… ugh. Let’s sit on reclining chairs on the grass please folks, we’re not animals.
- Festivals. Enough said…
Don’t get me wrong, I do in fact love Summer in all it’s long-day gloriousness, after all it provides the perfect excuse to wear big-sunglasses all the time and eat ice-cream, not to mention drink rosé. What’s not to love? It’s just Summer would be so much better all round without the above, agreed? – maybe I should start a petition…
What are your pet hates of the Summer?