Richmond Baby was 12 weeks on Monday. 12 weeks!?! how did that happen?! It seems to have gone in a flash and yet when I think back to those early days, particularly the first night home from the hospital (shudder), it seems like a lifetime ago. But, 12 weeks on, and this much I now know (in no particular order):
- that you really don’t need to buy a top-and-tail bowl #pointlesspurchase1
- nor an electric bottle warmer #pointlesspurchase2
- nor a fancy pants top of the range steriliser #pointlesspurchase3
- that you really do need to pull the elastic out fully at the side of a nappy if you don’t want to end up with the contents oozing out onto your lap
- that you spend an incredible amount of time going up and down the stairs on an average day and yet your bum gets no smaller and your legs appear no more toned as a result
- that when, pre baby, you declare “I don’t believe in dummies” or “no dummy for my baby”, you soon realise how naive you were and rush to Boots to clear the shelves just to make sure you’re never likely to be without one
- that after obsessing about sterilizing everything to within an inch of its life in the first few weeks, you start to implement the “3-second rule” when a dummy falls on the floor from about week 3 or 4 onwards (unless of course you’re out of the house, then no)
- that when you get dressed in the morning, you pick up your trousers from the crumpled heap in which you left them the night before and if they were only puked on once or twice yesterday they are still perfectly acceptable for another day’s wear
- that dry shampoo is your friend
- as are big knickers… big Bridget Jones waist-high knickers
- that you need and therefore drink a lot of tea to get you through the day, but it’s usually drunk cold and in fact sometimes just made and not drunk at all
- that 6.30am is now a lie-in and no longer, as was once thought, “the middle of the night”
- that despite your household only being increased by one very small person, your laundry quota has increased tenfold and while baby always has clean clothes to don, you and your other half are having to sniff clothing to deem whether or not it might still be acceptable to throw on again or else you’ll have to go out in your pyjamas
- that you really can never have too many muslin cloths
- or bibs
- or dummies (if you’re reading this and pregnant, about to become a first time mum – can I stress again, stock up on the dummies!)
- that babygros and indeed baby clothes in general are bloody difficult to get your little one in and out of and poppers in particular are a nightmare to do-up when your baby is wriggling like the wriggliest of wriggly worms in a world championship wriggly worm contest
- that when your baby smiles at you and chuckles at your attempts at singing, it’s the best feeling ever
- that being a mummy really is the best job in the world and you look at your own mum and indeed mothers generally with a whole new perspective and new-found respect
- My Granny and my Mum: two of the best mothers I know
Richmond Mummy 
One of your best blogs yet! Very funny and very true. Love the photo too x x x
Thanks Tris, I know – that photo is just so adorable 🙂 it was taken a few weeks ago when my mum went to visit Granny in Ireland. She is about 95 now, she’s incredible! xx
Aaah B your list is so true it took me back 8 years, i was blessed that none of mine needed dummies or had bottles. But that was a sheer fluke rather than excellent parenting skills. You’ve forgone the joys of breastfeeding such as answering the door to the postman and on closing the door realising your breast is on full view without a child attached! or indeed your middle child offering your breastfeeding services to other peoples babies. Early days (months/years/decades) soon pass so treasure every puke stained,nappy leaking,pointless spending, cutie smiling and tea drinking moment of it. You are an AWESOME mother xx
Ah thank you Zoey, such a lovely comment 🙂 Indeed it is not an exhaustive list, I have thought of two more things since writing this post last night (1) that it’s amazing you realise what you can do one handed and (2) that you learn how to shower in about 2 minutes flat!! but yes, it’s so funny, I was talking with one of my NCT friends yesterday and she said the very same thing as you about opening the door to the postman mid breast feed – clearly, universal experiences of motherhood! ha ha 🙂
The best one so far – and yes, aren’t dummies just the best invention and whoever thought of them should have been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize!?
thank you 🙂 ha ha yes, I like the idea of the inventor of the dummy being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, hee hee
Brilliant post! Love it. So so true. I was going to be No Dummy Mummy but lasted until week 3. It was the only way I could get some proper sleep! I too bought too many unneccesary bits & pieces. Pregnant women won’t get it yet though 🙂
Thank you and thanks for the RT too 🙂 It was funny in the early weeks how each of us in my NCT group succumbed to the dummy and was so relieved when we saw we weren’t the only ones! You were good lasting until week 3, we had the dummy out the first night home from hospital!!
Great one! The tea issue still gets me! I will heat it once in the microwave but so often find a cup hidden in there stone cold!
Jury out still on the dummy front- can’t bring myself to risk the awfulness again although Josh would love one I’m sure. I can see their value but also their evilness!!!!
Love the pic of your mum and Granny- next time lets see one of 4 generations!!!!
lots of love xxxx
Is the dummy awfulness down to them not wanting to give it up? hmmm, I have yet to face that challenge. Allegra uses the dummy less now than she did but it still has its uses – although she does love thumb sucking more I think xxx